IT'S THE JOURNEY

"Real generosity toward the future comes in giving all to what is present."
Albert Camus

Being a very goal oriented individual, one of my greatest challenges was (and is) to enjoy the process of achieving the goal. I usually want to already know or know first, or do first, or do the fastest. I want the next "prize" being next job promotion, the next rank promotion, or you could call it getting to the next goal or destination so I could get on to the next goal or destination after that.

The more I trained, the more I realized it is very important to keep my eye on that "destination" but to not be so consumed by the destination or goal that I don't enjoy the journey or process of getting there. Enjoying my training and my learning experiences became paramount.

Yesterday is history,
Tomorrow is a mystery,
Today is a gift.
That is why it is called "The Present."
anonymous

IF IT'S NOT FUN I DON'T WANT TO PLAY

Martial Arts is a hobby. Hobbies are supposed to be fun. Not many people would stick with a hobby if they didn't enjoy it. If your "hobby" isn't fun anymore you need to take a look at it. Maybe it's not the hobby that you need to change. Maybe it's where or how you do your hobby that needs changed. Or maybe this "hobby" has become an obsession. (There's a fine line between hobby and mental illness!)

How many times have you heard "Life is too short?" Well, life is too short to not enjoy things that you do. If you don't like your job, take steps to get another one. If you don't like where you live, take steps to find another place. If you have an aspect of your life that you aren't happy with, you have the power to change it. It is your life after all.

The more I trained, the more I realized it was very important to enjoy my training (and my hobbies): To work hard, but also to laugh and learn. Training should be fun - a hobby - not misery. Having a good time and leaving class feeling happy and uplifted became paramount.

WALK THE WALK

There is no use walking anywhere to preach unless our walking is our preaching.
St. Francis of Assisi

Not all schools are created equal. This includes colleges, universities, trade schools, high schools, and martial arts schools. To quote T.K.V. Desikachar: "The guru is not the one who says, "I am the guru." One of the qualities of a person who is clear, who is wise, is not to need to say "I am clear, I am wise." There is no need to say this. The person knows the way and he or she shows the way. Humility is one of the qualities of a clear person - there is nothing to prove to anybody."
The Heart of Yoga, Inner Trades International, 1999

The longer I trained the more I realized I needed to be at a school that Walked the Walk, not just one that Talked the Talk. Who trained me, and who I trained with, and the examples they set for others to follow became paramount.

A LITTLE RESPECT

James Brown sings about it, as does Aretha Franklin, and Rodney Dangerfield can't seem to get any: A Little Respect. We all deserve respect as human beings, as students of the arts, as unique individuals, and we must respect ourselves above all. If we don't respect ourselves it is very difficult to see clearly when we are being mistreated. This goes for families, jobs, relationships, and so many aspects of our lives.

"We need to watch out for signs of abuse and remove ourselves from harm's way. If a {insert any of these: lover, friend, co-worker, boss, spouse} teacher consistantly strikes you as being abusive, he or she probably is. Trust your gut feelings on this. Most importantly, however, monitor whether you are feeling caged up or inwardly free." Georg Feuerstein, in an interview with Richard Miller, on how to decide if a teacher is enlightened or not.

The more I trained, the more I realized the importance of respect. Me, respecting my teacher and my teacher respecting me became paramount.

"It is important to let people know what you stand for.
It is equally important that they know what you won't stand for."
B. Bader

THEORY OF POWER

Tae Kwon Do has a Theory of Power based on Speed, Concentration, Mass, Reaction Force, Breath Control, and Equilibrium. I have my own Theory of Power: "With great power comes great responsibilty. Once becoming powerful (in whomever's eyes it may be) one can use that power for good or evil. {In martial arts we are trained to become powerful in many ways.} It is a responsibilty to take care that power is used for good and not for evil."

SELF CONTROL

"Mastering others is strength:
Mastering yourself is true power."
Tao Te Ching

Self control means different things for different people. For some, self control may be to not have that package of Ho Hos or Yodels. For others it may be to not have one more drink, or any drink for that matter. In martial arts we often refer to "self control" as not clocking someone with a punch or kick, or stopping just short of hitting someone in the face or using light contact only. In yoga, self control is in reference to controlling the emotions and not letting them take over your rational thought or color your perceptions. In business it is about being PROactive not REactive.

"Emotional competence is the single most important personal quality that each of us must develop and assess to experience a breakthrough."
Doug Lennick, American Express

The more I trained the more I realized that being a martial artist, self control was about ALL of those things mentioned above. Controlling my emotions and my reactions, as well as my punches and kicks became paramount.

RESPONSIBILITY

"You must take personal responsibilty. You cannot change the circumstances, the seasons, or the wind, but you can change yourself. That is something you have charge of.
Jim Rohn, speaker, writer

We seem to live a country where people do not want to take any responsibilty for their actions. If one becomes fat, it must be McDonald's fault. If someone burns their mouth on hot coffee, that must be Duncan Donuts fault. If one drinks too much and wrecks his or her car (or worse), well we all know that must be the bartender's fault, right? WRONG!

"Being a Black Belt is a great honor and responsibility. People look up to you as a Black Belt. Not only the other students of the arts, but loved ones, friends, co-workers, and others in the community. As a Black Belt, one has a responsibility to live by example, to "Walk the Walk," to live by the Black Belt Code of Ethics, the Tenets of Tae Kwon Do, and to set an example to others by one's actions, both spoken and unspoken."
Sabrina Ellen Svard

The more I trained, the more I realized what a great responsibilty I had as a martial artist. Taking responsibility for my actions became paramount.

YES, YOU CAN

"Tae Kwon Do is the hardest thing I have ever done. Physically it is challenging, but it is more the mental discipline and the endless hours of perfecting technique that tests you mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and physically. But when everything comes together, it is exhilarating!"
Sabrina Ellen Svard

OK, so I said those things above as well. I have always been mesmerized by the movements in the martial arts. Maybe I watched too many Van Damme and Seigal movies. I wanted to be those guys. Even if I wasn't mean enough to actually do it, I still wanted to jump in the air and spin and (in my case "pretend to") kick people in the head. Having been involved in fitness for 20 years I knew how much training and time and ibuprofen went into those movements. I would try stuff and fail miserably the first few times then it got easier. And eventually the movements I practiced became easy. Of course I'm no Van Damme, but I don't get paid to do those things either!

The more I trained and tried and practiced the more I realized that I needed to give myself credit for trying. I knew eventually things would "click." Patience with my training became paramount.

PERSEVERANCE

"Hail Sensei, you kick ass! I want to see your Black Belt!"
Barbara Silva, Uechi-Ryu Karate Do

Barbara wrote this comment on an evalution form after taking one of my step-kickboxing workshops about 3 years ago. I kept the evaluation and happened to run across it just in the nick of time. After one too many bad experiences I was ready to give up on Tae Kwon Do. I hung that evaluation next to my computer and read it everyday. There were days that it was the only reason I kept doing TKD. Other people believed in me and I couldn't let them down. Thanks, Barbara. You will see my Black Belt!

"You are a martial artist, Sabrina. This may not be the school for you, but there is one that will be. You should be practicing martial arts the rest of your life."
Adam Boisvert, ITF, KATU

Thanks Mr. B for telling me this. Even if I didn't believe you at the time, I do now. Actually, I wasn't sure what to believe about martial arts then. I knew in my heart what they were about and finding the perfect place for me to train became paramount.

INDOMITABLE SPIRIT

"The difference between a successful person
and others is not a lack of strength,
not a lack of knowledge,
but rather a lack of will."
Vince Lombardi

There were so many things that happened to me in my martial arts journey that were discouraging. I don't know how many tears I shed over seeming to try so hard only to be held back or knocked down. I don't know what kept me going and trying when most would have said to hell with this "hobby." Maybe it was because I was stubborn, or an idiot, or maybe it was because I knew there was a place in martial arts for me somewhere.

"Greatness is not in where we stand,
but in what direction we are moving.
We must sail sometimes with the wind and
sometimes against it - but sail we must,
and not drift, nor lie at anchor."
Oliver Wendell Holmes

There were times when I thought I wasn't mean enough, militant enough, or didn't behave seriously enough to be a martial artist.
Now I am in a place that trains hard, laughs hard, and believes in being good and kind to all.

There were times when I thought the Tenets of Tae Kwon Do (courtesy, integrity, perseverance, self control, indomitable spirit) were just talking the talk to make it sound good.
Now I am in a place that not only "talks the talk" but walks the walk and then some.

There were times when I thought I didn't have what it took to practice martial arts. I didn't have any suppressed aggression I needed to unload. I didn't have a Napoleon complex.
Now I am in a place surrounded by people who believe in me, believe in each other, and believe in martial arts and are here to support and uplift each other.

There were times when I thought martial arts was all about Might over Right.
Now I am in a place that is all about doing right and encouraging each individual in developing their own might, for the good of all.

There were many times I didn't want to play anymore. Training wasn't fun. The people weren't fun. I wanted to take my ball and go home.
Now I am in a place that makes training fun, the people are fun, and I leave class feeling like I can do anything I set my mind to.

There were so many times I thought I would never become a Black Belt.
Now I know, in my heart, I am one.